California

Lately, especially the last few days (probably due to the holidays) I have found myself really missing California...home. I know I am from Oregon and of course I miss my family there, but I consider California my home, I love it there and can't wait to be back for good! I feel bad sometimes when I tell Bobby and my friends here that I miss California; I know Bobby misses it SO much too, maybe more than me and I don't want my friends here to think that they aren't worth being here because they definitely are. I know that God sent us here for a reason, probably multiple reasons. I know we were meant to come here and meet everyone that we have met, experience the things we have been experiencing and I definitely feel blessed that we have this opportunity to live outside of our comfort zones. I have just become really homesick over the past few days, especially today.

Today is definitely the coldest I have ever been...10 degrees with a -4 degree windchill as a high today. Julia and I didn't leave the house because there was supposed to be a big storm so a) I didn't want to get caught in that and b) it was 10 degrees! So, I guess with the weather getting cold and the holidays and the lack of talking to my closest friends as much as I am used to for various reasons I am just really homesick and missing California today.

Like I said before, I always feel bad when I say comments to Bobby about "how did we end up here" or "I miss California" because I know that this isn't where he WANTS to be but its where he NEEDS to be right now. I guess I know that he feels like he "dragged" me here with him, but really there is no way I would have stayed behind while he went to school for two years. So, I try not to say it around him as much because I know he is also really missing home. We are focusing on internships and job opportunities in California, trying to find every possible avenue to get us back to where we want to be. I know Bobby is under a lot of stress as internship deadlines are closing in and he is turning in applications to every possible California based company.

I definitely am SO glad we have met such amazing people here and I know these friendships we have made will be lifelong, I am very grateful for these relationships and I don't want my homesickness to ever come across as ungrateful. I do get to go to Northern California in about a month (a little less) to visit for Laura's baby shower and to go dress shopping with her, Laura, Molly, my mom and Bobby's mom so I think that trip will help a lot, so will getting back to work full time again. We made it through the holidays together so hopefully from here on out it won't be so bad. We have each other and I am also so grateful for that I obviously wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Bobby, but I also wouldn't travel 3,000 miles away from all of my family and friends for anyone else either.  I know we are here for a reason and it is all part of God's plan for us and that, I fully trust in.

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On another note, I don't think I have ever been sick so often, and for so long as I have been since moving here. I swear I never used to get sick in California MAYBE once a year...I have already been sick 4-5 times since I moved here (cold-like stuff nothing serious) and this last one I have had for maybe 3 weeks and I can't seem to get rid of it! It's crazy to me, and never would have thought the climate and lack of sun could do this to my immune system but it has. I am literally lacking in vitamin D and actually need to start going tanning to get some! There really is no sun here right now, it is pretty unreal and you probably wouldn't believe it unless you saw it for yourself. There have been little slivers of sun for a minute every now and then but for the most part it is cloudy and dark with no sun at all. I kept joking about getting seasonal depression but I wonder if I actually could! I didn't want to start tanning again, but it actually going to benefit my health so I am going to start going a couple-few times a week since its also included in my gym membership, hopefully it will make me start feeling a little better too! 1.5 years left to go here! Here's to surviving it!


**Just bought my ticket back to Cali for Laura's baby shower (the plane tickets finally dropped today thank you God...He knew I needed this :) ) and I am SO excited to be back and see everyone!!**